Please check out my main blog, Obi-Wan Kimberly Is Your Only Hope, where I write about web development and technical management!
Hi, my name is Kimberly Blessing. I'm a computer scientist, Web developer, standards evangelist, feminist, and geek. This is where I write about life, the Web, technology, women's issues, and whatever else comes to mind.
Another year, another Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing!
This year I’m attending both TechLeaders and GHC. Last night I even got to party with the Tapia folks!
If I have time to write more here, I will… but otherwise watch the GHC flickr group, twitter, and wiki to learn about what’s going on!
In this recent study, a Yale post-doc has found that a woman who shows anger in the workplace is likely to be seen as incompetent and out of control. In order to achieve status at work, women may have to behave calmly in order to be seen as rational. In fact, an “angry” woman is also likely to make less money than an “unemotional” woman, though in either case is still likely to make less than a man.
No wonder why so many women end up adopting a “nice girl” approach in business. But you know what? That doesn’t work either — at least not for the woman trying to always be so nice. That’s why I’m glad to see that Erica wrote up her 5 steps to stop being too nice. I was also pleasantly surprised by the book Ambitchous by Debra Condren, which promotes embracing ambition as a virtue, standing up for one’s self, and being authentic in order to be achieve success on one’s own terms and to be happy with one’s life.
I could go on at length about the “nice girl/angry woman” paradox, but I won’t because I resolved this internal conflict a long time ago. Ultimately I only care about being authentic, because when I’m not true to myself, everything else in my life goes to hell.
Sure, I try to be nice, and yes, I get angry. I don’t let people step all over me, but I also don’t run around yelling and screaming (much — hey, I’m Italian!). Some people will think of me as the crazy lady but really don’t care. I simply hope that others will remember that I behave the way I do because I care about myself, my work, my people, or whatever the issue is at hand. It’s in expressing some emotion that I am (and I think most women are) most comfortable demonstrating my commitment to my work, by showing how much I care about what I do. An unemotional response might help a man better understand my point, but wouldn’t be an authentic expression of myself.
To those that know me and work with me, I hope the above is either already apparent to you or is now clear. To everyone, here’s what I ask of you: The next time you encounter a “nice girl”, ask her if she’s being true to herself by always being so nice. And when you butt heads with an “angry woman”, acknowledge her commitment to the work and doing what is right. Encourage people be themselves, to be authentic. I bet that you’ll find that you can then do the same, and everyone will be all the happier for it.
Wow, I’m impressed. Danica McKellar (from The Wonder Years) is all grown up (duh, we’re the same age) and is a mathematician! And she’s written a math book for middle-school-age girls.
My first thought was, how many parents will actually buy this for their daughters if they’re already wrapped up in the “math is hard (if you’re a girl)” culture? But then I remembered how many things (books, music, whatever) made it into my hands at that age… and I realized that there’s a good chance many girls could end up finding this book. And given Danica’s defense of looking at the big picture (talking about math and making cookies and fashion) there’s a good chance that more of those girls could learn that loving math doesn’t make you a freak or a geek or ugly… it’s just part of who you are. (Maybe this book could teach those anti-math parents a thing or two.)
The page two questions are great — and so are Danica’s smart and snappy responses. Questions like “What’s your favorite part of math to learn?” and “What helped you study in college?” aren’t your everyday questions, but they’re great ones for young adults to see adults answer in a serious manner.
The book, titled Math Doesn’t Suck: How to Survive Middle-School Math Without Losing Your Mind or Breaking a Nail, is out now. I can’t wait to get my hands on a copy. I know a few girls for whom middle school isn’t all that far away…
…oh, and my favorite topic in math was algebra. I love algebra.
The ACM has posted video of Fran Allen’s Turing Award lecture. Go check it out!
Delivered by Frances E. Allen, recipient of ACM’s 2006 A. M. Turing Award, the presentation calls for software systems designers to develop new tools that can improve the performance of computer software.
Allen, the first woman to win the Turing Award, issued the challenge in her Turing Award Lecture, delivered in June at the 2007 FCRC Conference in San Diego, CA.
Ms. Allen received the 2006 A.M. Turing Award for “pioneering contributions to the theory and practice of optimizing compiler techniques that laid the foundation for modern optimizing compilers and automatic parallel execution.” In her Turing Award Lecture presentation, she warns that computer software capabilities have fallen far behind the capabilities of computer hardware, and proposes several approaches to boost the performance of software in the face of the new hardware developments.
I tore this ad out of one of my skateboarding magazines in the mid-80s, and as you can see, it’s beat to hell, having been pinned and taped to various surfaces over the years.
Growing up, messages like this one really spoke to me. Even as a kid, I didn’t want to be seen as a girl. I was a woman, strong and self-confident, capable of doing anything that any guy could do. (Though, to be honest, I wasn’t a very good skateboarder. But the important thing is that I tried!)
So what I want to know is… where are the messages like this one for kids today? Everything seems so dumbed-down, or watered-down, with a “let’s be subtle, the kids will get it” type of approach, so as not to offend or oppress stupid boys. I want aggro, in your face, straight-up shit that burgeoning young feminists can get behind, dammit!
Hmm, that gives me an idea. Check back for more on this later.
Oh, and did you notice that the ad is pink, but that it still kicks ass? I had a pink Rodney Mullen freestyle deck, too… though I really wanted it in white, but the skate shop was out of them. Anyway, pink isn’t just for girls… it’s for real women, too!
